Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
