She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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