ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
