And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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