my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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