She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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