3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I bet he comes in French.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
