East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
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