I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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