They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
