don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
my shit smells like andre
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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