Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(320): View more from Minnesota

If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.

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(650): View more from California

Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.

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(641): View more from Iowa

Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.

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(347): View more from New York

we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this

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(313): View more from Michigan

then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito

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(937): View more from Ohio

Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.

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(303): View more from Colorado

The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat

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