Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
