omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
