we're chasing vodka with high fives
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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