and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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