I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
