I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
