I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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