If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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