If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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