Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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