I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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