Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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