I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
