you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
then he tried to convert me to islam
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
