we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize