im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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