This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
