I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
