I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
