fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize