Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize