I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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