Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
