Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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