it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
