he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
