Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
