dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
