Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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