Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
