Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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