Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
