hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
