sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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