Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize