:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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