they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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