and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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