I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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