Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
