Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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