i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
