You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
