But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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