You're my little dorito
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
