ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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